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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Josh Brolin; Amy Sedaris; and Blues Traveler. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; The First Negative Campaign Commercial; a Message from John McCain; Oliver Stone's Next Project; Let's Talk About The Economy; and Sitting in with the Band All Night, John Popper.
" . . . and now, unreliable biochemist . . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: Monologue joke: "Russia test fired some long range ballistic missiles. At least that's what Sarah Palin says she saw from her house."
"McCain is an optimist. He sees the glass as half full . . . . . of his teeth."
Great Moments in Presidential Speeches Bush: ". . . . then there can be a stable Iran, an Iran that can withstand Irani influences . . . . . . I mean, Iraq!"
ACT 2:
Voters say they don't like negative campaigning but it's been going on for a long long time. We did some research . . . or our research department did some research . . . and found the very first negative campaign commercial, from 1876, even before there was television; even before there was radio. We take a look at what we uncovered.
We see a grainy photo of a telegraph operator. Typed from the found telegraph message:
"Rutherford B. Hayes can suck it."
And Rutherford's opponent? Samuel Tilden. He was the first, or at least the first we uncovered.
And now it's time for "A Message from John McCain":
"I've traveled all over the world looking for / really good / Jello."
Oliver Stone's new film, "W." opens this Friday about the life of President George W. Bush. It promises to be very provocative. And Oliver Stone has another project in the works. Dave introduces the coming attractions. Announce: "He captivated the nation with his memorable performance as our 43rd President. Now, Josh Brolin returns to the silver screen with his searing portrayal of another well-known American who's an even bigger moron than Bush."
Cut to shot of Dave weirdly dialing an imaginary phone at the desk. Announce: "Don't miss Oliver Stone's ‘Dave.' Coming Spring 2009."
That shot of Dave oddly dialing the imaginary phone came from October 3, 2007.
Everyone is concerned about the volatility of the current economic situation. Dave would like to do what he can to alleviate some fears in a new segment we're calling ‘Let's Talk About the Economy." Dave instructs Biff to pick someone from the audience. Biff finds a young woman sitting on the aisle. She is Laura, a receptionist at a law firm, from right here in New York City. She went to Wagner College in Staten Island and has friends and family in all the boroughs of New York.
Her question: "I'm a little upset about the economy. When is the market going to turn around?" DAVE: "Well, Friday was bad, real bad.T I'm calling it ‘Black Friday.' Now, I don't have all the answers, but I'd say it's a good sign that the Dow jumped 936 points yesterday."
We hear an unseen guy in the audience yell out, "What? Wait!" but Dave continues with his astute scripted response. Dave is optimistic that the big day in the Dow on Monday is pointing us in the right direction. Again from the audience, we hear the cued cries of "Hold it! Wait! Wait a minute! What did you say?" DAVE: "Oh, there's someone else in the audience with something to say. Wait your turn, sir, we'll get to you." GUY: "What did you just say before? What did you say about the stock market?" DAVE: "936 points. The Dow Industrial went up 936 points yesterday." GUY: "No!" DAVE: "It was the biggest one-day point gain in history!" GUY: "No, it can't be! You can't be serious!" DAVE: "But that's good news, isn't it?" GUY: "Oh, no, I sold all of my stocks on Friday! I thought this ship was sinking! I thought things would never turn around! They told me to sell low! No! NO! NOOOOO!"
CBS Pages enter the scene to escort the disorderly audience member out of the theater. The guy resists. DAVE: "Oh, brother."
The guy must have invested some of his money in self-defense and self-offense as he handles the CBS Pages with ease, leaving 3 of them KO'd in the aisle of the theater. And like any wise New Yorker who delivers an unprovoked beating, the guy leaves the scene before the police arrive. And once the guy was safely out of the theater and three blocks away, Dave takes off his jacket and challenges the guy to take it up with him. Luckily . . . . . for Dave . . . . the guy was long gone.
And due to the uprising, that was all the time we had for "Let's Talk About the Economy."
ACT 3:
We got lots of good John Popper during the breaks tonight.
JOSH BROLIN
Dressed in all black. Remember back in the 90s when all our guests only wore black?
Dave really enjoyed Josh Brolin's work in "No Country For Old Men." Dave called the film as having "just the right level of creepiness to it."
Josh comes from a family of show biz people. His dad is James Brolin, the beefcake of "Marcus Welby, MD" and the Aamco commercials. His mother was a casting director for TV's "Batman." His stepmom is a singer. And he is married to actress Diane Lane. Does having an actor-dad help you to get work? Josh says unless your mom or dad owns the studio, they can't get you a job. He recalls the first time he used the "Do you know how my dad is?" He was 8 years old. It didn't help. He got beat up. The other kid was probably a Chad Everett fan.
Josh plays George W. Bush in the Oliver Stone film, "W." Oliver approached Josh and said he would be perfect for the part, with the desired look of "ranchy, bucolic, American and mean." Josh worked hard to become "W" and could often be seen doing the President's walk and mannerisms while out in public. His wife had to tell him to knock it off.
"W." -- it's in theaters this Friday.
ACT 4: AMY SEDARIS
She has a lovely pair of new earrings. Where'd she get them? Last time she was here, Dave ripped the tassels off his loafers and gave them to her. She went home and made them into earrings. And they double as pasties. Amy demonstrates and pins them to her breasts and spins them around as if she's done that kind of thing before. A delighted Dave calls her "the single most creative person" he knows. Tassels into earrings and pasties are just some of the fun things you can find in her book, "I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence." My daughter Dominique loves the book. It'll be out in paperback on October 22nd.
Amy will be attending the big annual rabbit conference in New Rochelle, New York in a couple weeks. Not sure if Laura Petrie will be there. People who look like their rabbits attend the conference and tell stories about their pets. Amy is hoping to sell her "Dusty Dean's Dynamite Sticks," going for 50 cents a piece, 2 for a dollar, and 4 for 2 dollars.
It's made of the inside of a toilet paper roll with hay stuffed into each side. The rabbit will have fun playing with it and eating it. Rabbit people tend to be a little tight with their money and the last time she hawked the things they really didn't move.
Amy also has a quick video of her rabbit "Dusty Dean" doing a stupid pet trick. We see a tape of DD taking the lid off the top of an oatmeal container. Amy says it isn't wise to feed your rabbit oatmeal. It fattens them up. But if you plan on cooking the rabbit, then by all means feed it oatmeal. Dave says he's eaten rabbit. Said it was "gamey." I "Played the Dave" and said, "The problem with eating rabbit is it keeps hopping off the plate." Unfortunately, Dave did not use that joke. I guess he reserves that only for kangaroo.
Amy Sedaris; always fun, always entertaining. Buy the book.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Martin Short and Marv Albert.
The Late Show; is there anything tastier than ranch dressing?
We'll be right back."
ACT 7: BLUES TRAVELER: From their CD, "North Hollywood Shootout," Blue Traveler performed "You, Me, and Everything."
And that was our show for Tuesday October 14, 2008.
The Oliver Stone joke about his next project, "Dave" ... The shot of Dave acting odd and dialing an imaginary rotary phone seen in the ACT 2 came from the show on October 3, 2007.
This is what I wrote in that Wahoo Gazette from October 3, 2007:
ACT 1
"For my records: ODD DAVE -- Dave is at the desk spinning his finger as if dialing a rotary phone and making odd noises. You will likely see this shot again in a future comedy piece yet to be written. It'll go something like this. A writer will approach and ask, ‘Mike, I need a shot of Dave doing something odd.' I'll go to my private data base, type in ‘Odd Dave' and a list of ‘Odd Dave' shots will pop up. I'll have a star next to tonight's ‘Odd Dave.'"
And that's just what happened, one year later. It's nice when my efforts are realized, even if it's only realized by me, the writer, and those reading this.
The economy is in freefall; the 3rd Presidential debate is tonight; we're involved in two wars most of us seem to have forgotten . . . . and what is on the front page of today's New York Post? "MADGE SPLIT -- Madonna and her Guy divorcing."
From Deb Watson of Des Moines, Iowa
"Maybe you should start a list of what needs salt. I routinely add salt only to raw tomatoes and to fresh green beans. Sometimes to watermelon. (I don't eat eggs, and I rarely eat celery all by itself; I don't salt meat, be it red, white, or charred, unless I'm drying it for jerky.)
Wow, did I really write about adding salt to my food? Sometimes I don't realize how boring I can be until someone brings up something I've written.
But I do add salt to my raw tomatoes, too. I forgot about that. I try to limit my salt intake, but know that there is salt in everything. I was told too much salt can elevate my blood pressure.
I saw a scrolling headline on one of the cable channels yesterday:
"STAR JONES -- THOSE GIRLS (at The View) WERE HATEFUL."
So catty. You never hear stuff like that from the stars on "The Other Half." You never hear Danny Bonaduce or Dick Clark or Mario Lopez talk like that about each other. C'mon, girls, why the hatin'?
100 years ago today . . . October 14, 1908 . . . The Chicago Cubs are World Series champions! The Cubs defeated the Detroit Tigers in 5 games to repeat as World Series Champs, October 14, 1908. And it is the last time the Cubs have ever won the World Series.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New York, New York, it's Sean McKillop
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Josh Brolin; Amy Sedaris; and Blues Traveler. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; The First Negative Campaign Commercial; a Message from John McCain; Oliver Stone's Next Project; Let's Talk About The Economy; and Sitting in with the Band All Night, John Popper.
" . . . and now, unreliable biochemist . . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: Monologue joke: "Russia test fired some long range ballistic missiles. At least that's what Sarah Palin says she saw from her house."
"McCain is an optimist. He sees the glass as half full . . . . . of his teeth."
Great Moments in Presidential Speeches Bush: ". . . . then there can be a stable Iran, an Iran that can withstand Irani influences . . . . . . I mean, Iraq!"
ACT 2:
Voters say they don't like negative campaigning but it's been going on for a long long time. We did some research . . . or our research department did some research . . . and found the very first negative campaign commercial, from 1876, even before there was television; even before there was radio. We take a look at what we uncovered.
We see a grainy photo of a telegraph operator. Typed from the found telegraph message:
"Rutherford B. Hayes can suck it."
And Rutherford's opponent? Samuel Tilden. He was the first, or at least the first we uncovered.
And now it's time for "A Message from John McCain":
"I've traveled all over the world looking for / really good / Jello."
Oliver Stone's new film, "W." opens this Friday about the life of President George W. Bush. It promises to be very provocative. And Oliver Stone has another project in the works. Dave introduces the coming attractions. Announce: "He captivated the nation with his memorable performance as our 43rd President. Now, Josh Brolin returns to the silver screen with his searing portrayal of another well-known American who's an even bigger moron than Bush."
Cut to shot of Dave weirdly dialing an imaginary phone at the desk. Announce: "Don't miss Oliver Stone's ‘Dave.' Coming Spring 2009."
That shot of Dave oddly dialing the imaginary phone came from October 3, 2007.
Everyone is concerned about the volatility of the current economic situation. Dave would like to do what he can to alleviate some fears in a new segment we're calling ‘Let's Talk About the Economy." Dave instructs Biff to pick someone from the audience. Biff finds a young woman sitting on the aisle. She is Laura, a receptionist at a law firm, from right here in New York City. She went to Wagner College in Staten Island and has friends and family in all the boroughs of New York.
Her question: "I'm a little upset about the economy. When is the market going to turn around?" DAVE: "Well, Friday was bad, real bad.T I'm calling it ‘Black Friday.' Now, I don't have all the answers, but I'd say it's a good sign that the Dow jumped 936 points yesterday."
We hear an unseen guy in the audience yell out, "What? Wait!" but Dave continues with his astute scripted response. Dave is optimistic that the big day in the Dow on Monday is pointing us in the right direction. Again from the audience, we hear the cued cries of "Hold it! Wait! Wait a minute! What did you say?" DAVE: "Oh, there's someone else in the audience with something to say. Wait your turn, sir, we'll get to you." GUY: "What did you just say before? What did you say about the stock market?" DAVE: "936 points. The Dow Industrial went up 936 points yesterday." GUY: "No!" DAVE: "It was the biggest one-day point gain in history!" GUY: "No, it can't be! You can't be serious!" DAVE: "But that's good news, isn't it?" GUY: "Oh, no, I sold all of my stocks on Friday! I thought this ship was sinking! I thought things would never turn around! They told me to sell low! No! NO! NOOOOO!"
CBS Pages enter the scene to escort the disorderly audience member out of the theater. The guy resists. DAVE: "Oh, brother."
The guy must have invested some of his money in self-defense and self-offense as he handles the CBS Pages with ease, leaving 3 of them KO'd in the aisle of the theater. And like any wise New Yorker who delivers an unprovoked beating, the guy leaves the scene before the police arrive. And once the guy was safely out of the theater and three blocks away, Dave takes off his jacket and challenges the guy to take it up with him. Luckily . . . . . for Dave . . . . the guy was long gone.
And due to the uprising, that was all the time we had for "Let's Talk About the Economy."
ACT 3:
We got lots of good John Popper during the breaks tonight.
JOSH BROLIN
Dressed in all black. Remember back in the 90s when all our guests only wore black?
Dave really enjoyed Josh Brolin's work in "No Country For Old Men." Dave called the film as having "just the right level of creepiness to it."
Josh comes from a family of show biz people. His dad is James Brolin, the beefcake of "Marcus Welby, MD" and the Aamco commercials. His mother was a casting director for TV's "Batman." His stepmom is a singer. And he is married to actress Diane Lane. Does having an actor-dad help you to get work? Josh says unless your mom or dad owns the studio, they can't get you a job. He recalls the first time he used the "Do you know how my dad is?" He was 8 years old. It didn't help. He got beat up. The other kid was probably a Chad Everett fan.
Josh plays George W. Bush in the Oliver Stone film, "W." Oliver approached Josh and said he would be perfect for the part, with the desired look of "ranchy, bucolic, American and mean." Josh worked hard to become "W" and could often be seen doing the President's walk and mannerisms while out in public. His wife had to tell him to knock it off.
"W." -- it's in theaters this Friday.
ACT 4: AMY SEDARIS
She has a lovely pair of new earrings. Where'd she get them? Last time she was here, Dave ripped the tassels off his loafers and gave them to her. She went home and made them into earrings. And they double as pasties. Amy demonstrates and pins them to her breasts and spins them around as if she's done that kind of thing before. A delighted Dave calls her "the single most creative person" he knows. Tassels into earrings and pasties are just some of the fun things you can find in her book, "I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence." My daughter Dominique loves the book. It'll be out in paperback on October 22nd.
Amy will be attending the big annual rabbit conference in New Rochelle, New York in a couple weeks. Not sure if Laura Petrie will be there. People who look like their rabbits attend the conference and tell stories about their pets. Amy is hoping to sell her "Dusty Dean's Dynamite Sticks," going for 50 cents a piece, 2 for a dollar, and 4 for 2 dollars.
It's made of the inside of a toilet paper roll with hay stuffed into each side. The rabbit will have fun playing with it and eating it. Rabbit people tend to be a little tight with their money and the last time she hawked the things they really didn't move.
Amy also has a quick video of her rabbit "Dusty Dean" doing a stupid pet trick. We see a tape of DD taking the lid off the top of an oatmeal container. Amy says it isn't wise to feed your rabbit oatmeal. It fattens them up. But if you plan on cooking the rabbit, then by all means feed it oatmeal. Dave says he's eaten rabbit. Said it was "gamey." I "Played the Dave" and said, "The problem with eating rabbit is it keeps hopping off the plate." Unfortunately, Dave did not use that joke. I guess he reserves that only for kangaroo.
Amy Sedaris; always fun, always entertaining. Buy the book.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Martin Short and Marv Albert.
The Late Show; is there anything tastier than ranch dressing?
We'll be right back."
ACT 7: BLUES TRAVELER: From their CD, "North Hollywood Shootout," Blue Traveler performed "You, Me, and Everything."
And that was our show for Tuesday October 14, 2008.
The Oliver Stone joke about his next project, "Dave" ... The shot of Dave acting odd and dialing an imaginary rotary phone seen in the ACT 2 came from the show on October 3, 2007.
This is what I wrote in that Wahoo Gazette from October 3, 2007:
ACT 1
"For my records: ODD DAVE -- Dave is at the desk spinning his finger as if dialing a rotary phone and making odd noises. You will likely see this shot again in a future comedy piece yet to be written. It'll go something like this. A writer will approach and ask, ‘Mike, I need a shot of Dave doing something odd.' I'll go to my private data base, type in ‘Odd Dave' and a list of ‘Odd Dave' shots will pop up. I'll have a star next to tonight's ‘Odd Dave.'"
And that's just what happened, one year later. It's nice when my efforts are realized, even if it's only realized by me, the writer, and those reading this.
The economy is in freefall; the 3rd Presidential debate is tonight; we're involved in two wars most of us seem to have forgotten . . . . and what is on the front page of today's New York Post? "MADGE SPLIT -- Madonna and her Guy divorcing."
From Deb Watson of Des Moines, Iowa
"Maybe you should start a list of what needs salt. I routinely add salt only to raw tomatoes and to fresh green beans. Sometimes to watermelon. (I don't eat eggs, and I rarely eat celery all by itself; I don't salt meat, be it red, white, or charred, unless I'm drying it for jerky.)
Wow, did I really write about adding salt to my food? Sometimes I don't realize how boring I can be until someone brings up something I've written.
But I do add salt to my raw tomatoes, too. I forgot about that. I try to limit my salt intake, but know that there is salt in everything. I was told too much salt can elevate my blood pressure.
I saw a scrolling headline on one of the cable channels yesterday:
"STAR JONES -- THOSE GIRLS (at The View) WERE HATEFUL."
So catty. You never hear stuff like that from the stars on "The Other Half." You never hear Danny Bonaduce or Dick Clark or Mario Lopez talk like that about each other. C'mon, girls, why the hatin'?
100 years ago today . . . October 14, 1908 . . . The Chicago Cubs are World Series champions! The Cubs defeated the Detroit Tigers in 5 games to repeat as World Series Champs, October 14, 1908. And it is the last time the Cubs have ever won the World Series.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New York, New York, it's Sean McKillop
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
